National Organization of Marriage Commercial

Scene: Opens with white, middle aged man JOHN sitting on a desk in an office, with the National Organization of Marriage logo behind him. Dressed in a suit, relatively good looking, white/grey/peppered hair. SANDRA, entering later, white middle aged, pretty, looks like a mom.

JOHN: 25 years ago, I married my beautiful, wonderful wife SANDRA. We have 2 intelligent sons, Adam and Aaron, as well as a beautiful daughter, April. We have been through so much in the last 25 years, but unfortunately there is one thing threatening to break our wonderful union apart. Gay Marriage.

SANDRA walks in, clasps JOHN on the shoulder

SANDRA: Now, don’t get our message wrong. We love gay people.

JOHN: Neil Patrick Harris is a national treasure.

SANDRA: And I have watched every single Mission Impossible movie.

JOHN: Honey, Tom Cruise isn’t gay.

SANDRA: Haha, okay.


SANDRA: We just don’t want gay marriage to threaten our marriage. Being around gay people CAN make you gay. I don’t want my husband to experiment with men like I did in college.

JOHN: And think of our children!

SANDRA: I don’t want my sons licking lollipops in West Hollywood for blow.

JOHN: My daughter doesn’t even own combat boots. Her favorite color is pink!

SANDRA: So this November, remember to save marriage, by only allowing people like us to have it.

JOHN: People like us.

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